1. Really strong run this morning. Kept it nice and slow-to-moderate and then gave a big push on that last mile. Awesome.

    Other fitness-related things of note:

    • Strength work this week: I upped my reps on leg lifts, clamshells, bridges and squats. About time I quit stagnating. I’d like to get those up to 50 each. It will take me a few more weeks to get there.
    • Also upped my reps on push-ups to 75 (3X25). Feeling great about that. I’m aiming for much more in the long haul.
    • I didn’t want to say anything until I finally had some consistency, but I’ve been working hard on pull-ups for a few weeks now, you guys. I think I can confidently say that I will hit my fun goal I set for myself this year of five continuous. Apparently, I need to start over a little and work on my form (Steve pointed out something not so great last night), but I will get there. The strength is being gained (and my hands are pained and calloused!), so I will get there.

    Speaking of. Time for closing my office door to do my strength work. Then it’s a big bowl of leftover ragu bolognese for lunch. Motivating. ;)

    (Source: happyhealthycook)

     
  2. 18:27 28th Jul 2014

    Notes: 21

    Tags: my food

    image: Download

    It doesn’t get more deliciously simple than ragu bolognese from the freezer. Happiness in a bowl.

    It doesn’t get more deliciously simple than ragu bolognese from the freezer. Happiness in a bowl.

     
  3. 11:33

    Notes: 112

    Tags: sobrietypersonal

    Four Years

    Four years ago last night, I was drunk for the very last time.

    In the last four years, everything has changed. I quit smoking. I lost a ton of weight. I started running and hiking again. I started cooking every single day and nourishing myself properly. I got physically healthy in every way.

    Steve and I also got financially healthy, finally paying off all our debt, making the move back to Texas, and achieving our lifelong dream of buying a brand new home together. 

    Spiritually and emotionally, I have never felt better. In sobriety, I feel a calm in my heart I thought was lost when I was drinking. My brain, once drowning in alcohol and screaming at me nonstop, has quieted. I have a great job. I have fantastic women friends. My marriage is amazing and only becomes more amazing with each passing day.

    Life has never been brighter, and none of this would have been possible if I had not stopped drinking. That is an absolute certainty.

    This has actually been the hardest year of maintaining my sobriety so far, if for no other reason than I got comfortable and forgot the truth of that absolute certainty. There were more than a few times I thought it might be okay to drink again. I thought maybe I was weak or ridiculous for making such a big deal of it, that maybe it wasn’t that bad. I got to that point that most alcoholics get to once or five or ten times in their sobriety where they think “I could drink again. I could moderate now. I would be okay just for a night or a weekend.”

    I haven’t done it, of course. And sure, naturally, I do sometimes think I would be okay. In reality, though, I have to push my ego aside and face facts: plenty of people have thought that and none of them have been right. I am not likely to be the first. Relapse stories are sobering - literally and figuratively - and, sadly, though beneficially for me, I’ve read quite a few devastating ones this year. One more night of drunkenness isn’t near enough reward for taking that chance. I’ve been drunk, sickeningly so, thousands of times. One more time isn’t worth the risk, not by a long shot.

    I’ve also realized this year, more than any other, that while removing alcohol from my life was a gigantic step forward for all aspects of my survival, it did not solve any of the deeper problems. I still carry far too much rage, irritability, restlessness, compulsion, obsessiveness, and fear. None of these things have magically vanished in sobriety, as much as I wish they had. I have much work to do if I ever want to change these things - as do we all, I suppose. I am doing my best.

    And I am hopeful. Hopeful, happy, and healthy. I keep doing what I know is good and right for me, inside and out, and I live my life as fully and openheartedly as I possibly can, no longer half awake and half alive. And as a kind friend pointed out to me, I am winning a hard fight and beating the odds, significantly. That is deeply meaningful on its own. I am proud of that.

    Happy four to me!

    Previous Years Posts:

     
  4. 21:43 27th Jul 2014

    Notes: 26

    Tags: andyedward

    image: Download

    Second time in a week the girls have chilled on the bed together. Showing improvement! Grateful for these moments.

    Second time in a week the girls have chilled on the bed together. Showing improvement! Grateful for these moments.

     
  5. Today was so good. A workout walk that earned me a stunning tan, the freshest, healthiest, most delicious lunch I’ve had out in quite some time, thoughtful (and Doctor Who-related!) gifts from Europe courtesy of espressoandendorphins, and a protein-heavy dinner (Chipotle Chicken Chili) to make my head and belly happy. Now, couch time with Steve. Don’t come too soon, Monday.

     
  6. image: Download

    Garden fresh tomatoes: a bittersweet reminder of how sad grocery store tomatoes are. Thank you, espressoandendorphins!

    Garden fresh tomatoes: a bittersweet reminder of how sad grocery store tomatoes are. Thank you, espressoandendorphins!

     
  7. Saturday highlights:

    • Run: such a difficult go of it this morning. The weather was horrific. By the end of Mile 3, I could hear myself wheezing - a high-pitched raspy sound - every other breath. If Steve had not been at my side, I may have quit early. But I didn’t. We finished our second 5-miler in a week, and I feel strong and proud. Recovery. Endurance-building. Still working hard for it.
    • Food: baked oatmeal, standard egg, spinach, ham sandwich but split between two low-cal flatbreads (OMG YES!!), and sausage, spinach, pepperoni pasta bake which is never ever going to get old I swear to god. Coming up: more watermelon. Oh yeah.
    • Fun: Steve and I went to Cabela’s for their archery classic weekend to see if anything great was on sale (we scored some awesome UA hunting clothes for cheap!). I didn’t get that cute hat from last week - we remembered that there will be a greater selection at the hunting show in a few weeks in downtown Fort Worth. I’ll find something then. The best part of our morning though: two guys from Primos flew in to give a seminar and sell products. Coincidentally, we actually met these two briefly last year at that aforementioned downtown hunting show - one of them even remembered us. Anyway, we were there so early, before anyone was really around, that we sat and chatted with them for 45 minutes about all sorts of stuff. For comparison’s sake, it would be like if I met Mario Batali at a cooking demo and sales event and sat around shooting the shit with him for a while like it was no big deal. It ROCKED.

    Hope everyone else has enjoyed their weekend so far! Until tomorrow.

     
  8. 13:53

    Notes: 24

    Tags: my food

    image: Download

    Restocking the freezer: breakfast sausage and chorizo.

    Restocking the freezer: breakfast sausage and chorizo.

     
  9. 20:47 25th Jul 2014

    Notes: 34

    Tags: my food

    Last night and tonight. When these fruits are truly in season and ripe and taste just right? There is no better summer dessert, I tell ya what.

     
  10. 18:59

    Notes: 20

    Tags: my food

    image: Download

    We’ve missed these turkey thighs for roast dinner Friday. It’s been months. Can’t go that long again.

    We’ve missed these turkey thighs for roast dinner Friday. It’s been months. Can’t go that long again.